Many people with alcohol or other drug problems truly believe that they are hurting no one but themselves. Nothing could be further from the truth. No one lives in total isolation and every person's actions both directly and indirectly affects many others.
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Research proves that every alcoholic and addict directly affects from four to seven other people and indirectly affects many times more. It doesn't take a lot of imagination to see where this will lead.
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Alcoholism has been called a family disease. This is just as true for other substance addictions. Families begin to have all of their activities revolve around the abuser's drinking or drug use. They make excuses for the alcoholic or addict and help him or her avoid responsibilty. The term for this is "enabling". Problem drinking or drug abuse in the family affects that family's children, the abuser's spouse, and any other relative with whom the abuser has contact. The idea that "my drinking (drug use) only hurts me" is the purest nonsense.
Alcohol and other drugs destroy relationships, familes and futures.
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We occasionally receive telephone calls from parents who say that their son or daughter has gotten a DUI or DWI or that they have a possession of drugs charge. We tell that that we prefer that the child call him or herself to make treatment arrangements. It's a form of responsibility. Once in a while there is no legal charge involved, the parent simply wants the child to get help. This sounds fine except for two factors. One is that in many cases the "child" in question is 30 to 45 years old, and the other is that no one will get help unless THEY want help. It doesn't matter how much friends and relatives want it for them. The alcoholic and addict surely affects the older as well as the younger generations. And everyone in between.
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Some alcoholics and addicts truly believe that their children are not aware of the extent of their drinking or drug use. How foolish! Children should not be underestimated. They may not know exactly what the cause of the problem is, but they're very aware of the consequences when "Daddy starts talking funny and falling" or "Mommy doesn't seem to hear me and she has a real funny look". The children know!
By denying their children's awareness of the problem, alcoholics and addicts put those very same children at risk for future and ongoing problems of their own.
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There is no doubt that the disease of addiction affects the entire family. Unless the person with the disease of alcoholism or other drug addiction gets the needed help, the disease is likely to be passed on to the rest of the family.
Children learn by example. It's a fact that children of alcoholics and addicts are many times more likely to develop the disease themselves than children of non-addicted parents.
The children will also learn that addiction is to be avoided if the parent gets help and become honest with the whole family.
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